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Transplant Athlete
Monday, July 09, 2007
  The Three Stooges

My daughter Q is attending Vacation Bible School this week. Today was a lesson on Noah and the Ark, with the message God keeps his promises. Tomorrow is Jonah and the Whale and I'm trying to get her to say the famous Roy Scheider line (right after he sees JAWS), "you're gonna need a bigger boat." My wife says that Methodists have a sense of humor, we're Roman Catholic, and they don't.

Wednesday is Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego. Yeah, we were like "Who?" also. We decided to play "Battle of the Catholic School Girls" to see which grandmother learned more in between beatings from the Nuns. If you've ever seen the scene in Blues Brothers where the Penguin is beating Jake and Elwood with a ruler, that's the impression I get when my mother describes what her education was like. Anyhoo. We called up my mom in Jersey and asked her, her guess was the three wise men. And she asked me not to refer to them as the Three Stooges so that Q wouldn't repeat that in class. We then called ABL's mom and asked her (both went to catholic school in North East New Jersey). ABL's mom thought they were women in the bible. Amazingly, both grandparents thought that Jonah and the Whale were a bit scary to be teaching kids, but it's not like they'll be playing JAWS during the class. So, none of the grandparent's knew who the Three Stooges were, so we moved to the bonus round by calling ABL's sister-in-law, who immediately went to Google, completely missing the point of the game. Now, I know the Beastie Boys have a song titled "Shadrach", if you click the link above it will take you to their site, then choose the audio link under the picture that says, "An exciting evening at home with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego" (It's in the second row, second column from the left).

So for those of you playing at home,Wikipedia says Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were friends of Daniel, kidnapped and taken to Babylon. The king of babylon decreed that all should worship a golden idol, the three stooges refused and were thrown into a fire. The Three Stooges walked around inside the fire unharmed and the king ordered them to come out. He then decreed that, "anyone who spoke against the God of the Three Stooges would be cut to pieces and their houses turned to rubble."

I'm guessing that might be a bit scary for kids. I just hope Q doesn't set a fire thinking God will save her.

Speaking of religion, I have a friend who sends me religious chain letters, the kind that sound a bit like Penthouse Forum letters, "I never thought it would happen to me, but I walked into the wrong hotel room and there they were three naked hotties...Thank you God" Usually, there's a story about the impossible happening and then a call for prayer and then a call to forward it on to everyone you love. He used to send me the ones that said if I didn't pray and send it on tragedy would befall me. That's when I put my foot down, I can't stand receiving threatening emails.

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In preparation for today's lesson of Jonah and the Whale, Lou stayed up late watching Jaws. If Q says "I think we need a bigger boat," I wonder if the teacher will get it. Of course in preparation of tomorrow's lesson on the three stooges, Lou has been playing Beastie Boys for the kids.
-da Wife
 
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I've gone through kidney failure twice. The first time in 2000, my mother donated a kidney; and again in 2008, I'm on dialysis waiting for a breakthrough in immuno-suppression medicines before seeking a new kidney.

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